"True Story" a.k.a. HARMLESS HISTORICAL NUTS
(Author: Leslye Fish)
Link to Performance Notes
As I was out shopping, expecting no harm
Two big F.B.I. men grabbed me by the arm
Dragged me into a cellar, shown lights in my eyes
Demanding full answers without any lies
About this new threat to good patriotism,
This Society for . . . creative anarchism.
I said they're just...
CHORUS
..... harmless historical nuts
Who wear boiler plates on their butts
Who dress up in clothes from the 12th century
To bash on each other with sticks and debris
And make up the worlds largest private army.....
Harmless historical nuts
I answered 'tis true to that club I belong
But pardon me gentlefolk, you've got the name wrong
Now, I swear by the cross and the host and the chrism
That last word is actually anachronism
It just means outdated, pray why don't you look
In Sir Merriam Webster's reliable book
It'll says we're just....
CHORUS
When finally persuaded to look up the word
They blushed and they winced loud enough to be heard
They hastily sent me back out on the street
But I new it wasn't over and once more we'd meet
So I passed on the warning to realms far and near
To give the impression for all the next year
That we're just...
CHORUS
And yep, soon enough four infiltrators came in
All snooping for politics, sniffing for sin
Three went away again scratching their heads
But the fourth quit his job and turned stick jock instead
He's won coronets, he's in love with the sport
And we still have a copy of his last report
It says we're just...
CHORUS
Harmless historical nuts
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